My new bike's replacement

After the bicycle-scapades (see previous post), I have decided to replace my bicycle with a less-expensive*, more environmentally-friendly** mode of transportation: the catbus. Many may have already seen this vehicle, which was posted on craigslist, as I have waged an extensive fund-raising campaign in an attempt to acquire the moneys necessary to purchase it. I will be honest and admit, this post is part of that extensive fund-raising campaign. You will find, below, an image of the catbus and the accompanying description.

I HAVE A 1995 MO' VAN THAT GOT TRANSFORMED INTO THIS CATBUS. I BROUGHT IT TO A SHOPS AND I WAS LIKE HEY, CAN YOU TURN THIS INTO A CATBUS? SO THEY DID. THEN THAT DAY I DROVE IT HOME. THE CAT BUS ONLY HAS 50K, WHICH ARE ALL HIGHWAY MILES AS I DROVE IT TO WORK 2 DAYS A WEEK AND THAT WAS IT. IT'S IN REALLY GOOD SHAPE AND ALL THE FUR IS STILL ALL THERE. THE STEERING WHEEL HAS A CAT ON IT. IM ONLY ASKING 2900 FOR THE CATBUS BECAUSE ITS REALLY FURRY AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE GET SICK ON IT.

(original url: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/alb/621862265.html)

As you can see, the catbus, with its low mileage and silky fur, is relatively inexpensive, ringing in at just $2900. Therefore, even the smallest donations will be helpful and appreciated. If you or someone you know would like to contribute to the Catbus4Cassi fund, please email me at c4c@gmail.com with your credit card number, expiration date, and the amount you'd like to contribute***. All donations are tax-deductible.

*Projected four year cost for bicycle (factoring in one inner tube plus labor per day): 15486.6 (10.60/inner tube change x 365 days/year x 4 years +1 day for leap year) + 479.95 (original cost of bicycle) + 42.31 (helmet) + 28.76 (locks) + 21.20 (cyclocomputer) + 3.42 (pink plastic tassels for handlebars) = 16062.24 dollars
**I am certain that this vehicle should get at least 8/mpg city, 10/mpg freeway due to its aerodynamic fur which drastically decreases**** air resistance by greatly increasing the surface area and thus the amount of friction as determined by the equation Fd= -1/2pv^2ACdv
***Really, don't email me your credit card information. The Catbus4Cassi fund is completely fictional. c4c@gmail.com is an email address that is unaffiliated with the fictional Catbus4Cassi fund. Donations are not tax-deductible, because the Catbus4Cassi fund does not exist. If you would still like to just give me money, perhaps out of admiration for my mad blog skillz, or out of pity for my bicycle-scapades, I am more than happy to accept and if you will only let me know, I will send you information on how to deliver said money. Thank you.
****I realize that this is completely untrue.