Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Sad musings on the inherent cruelty of a bike rider

Last night, Aaron and I decided to bike to our church activity, some 14 miles away. Unfortunately, Omaha has (I'm convinced) only ONE ~1 mile stretch of bike lane in the entire city (I am so not kidding. And it's not even really a bike lane. It's actually the gutter. They painted a white line next to it and put a picture of a bike on it, and then they left it full of storm debris, like leaves, twigs, and trees. It's actually only there so they can say they're a "bike-friendly" city. Right.). So anyway, due to the lack of anything resembling a bike lane, we had to bike quite a bit on some narrow streets on our way to trails and wider roads. As we were biking up a hill on Western, we apparently greatly inconvenienced a gentleman driving by himself in an enormous white truck (and I'll leave it to you to imagine exactly what he was compensating for), forcing him to drive slightly below the speed limit for the entirety of approximately ten seconds. It was terribly inconsiderate of us, I know, and he was happy to let us know as he drove past ("Use the f---ing sidewalk," he said, clearly demonstrating his superior creativity and grasp of the English language). It was fortuitous that he was able to pass, thereby saving himself several seconds of precious time before he had to come to a halt at the stop sign just ahead. As we biked up, he rolled down the window, gave us his best look of indignant stupidity, and, in yet another feat of superb articulation, said "Seriously? Are you kidding me?" Feeling deeply sorry for the emotional pain we had inflicted on him, I said in a mollifying voice, "We're legally required to ride on the road." In his extreme agony, he was able only to reply, "I don't f---ing care about legal," adding, much as a threatened little bully might say on the playground to the frail menace of the scrawny child in glasses, "Next time I'm going to f---ing hit you." Unable to look any more upon the faces of his tormentors, he fled from our presence. At this point, a tiny tear escaped my eye as I sorrowfully beheld his broken spirit; broken, no doubt, because of the immense suffering he bore as he drove along behind us, going a mere 20 miles per hour in a 25 miles per hour zone for ten seconds/an eternity, thereby costing him a total distance of .01388889 miles. Maybe my tear was actually caused by the cloud of noxious gas his truck spewed out at us as he drove away, but it still reflected the agony of my soul for the permanent damage I'm sure he suffered in his traumatic ordeal.

6 comments:

by Aaron Read said...

Power to the cyclists!

Nicole said...

I know how you feel. When you ride a bike around town, you really realize how cars turn people into asses. Big ones. And how ignorant everyone is about bike laws. And how immature the general populace is. And how much heat a car engine gives off, and how much exhaust they spew into the air and our lungs, and how NECESSARY it is that every last soul in America, no, the WORLD, have their very own CAR. Because that's the dream. The DREAM.

Yesterday I was in a bike lane and this car made a left turn right in front of me, like I wasn't there. I had to slam on my brakes, otherwise I would have hit him. He didn't even see me. He rolled down his window in the parking lot he was so anxious to get into and honked for his friend, and I said, "HEY!" And he looked at me, noticing me for the first time, and I said, "Watch where you're going!" And he said, "I'm sorry." And I rode on.

"Sorry" can diffuse a situation really quick, especially if you're in the wrong. In this case, YOU were right and that guy driving the truck deserves to be flogged.

I'm really sorry that happened to you. I'm just glad you realize how superior you are to him. The fool.

(Reposted because I made a mistake in the first one. Ha ha!)

cassi said...

Aaron- That's right. One day we will take over the world.

Nik- I'm glad you didn't get hit. And you're right; sorry does make a big difference. This guy just shouldn't have said anything in the first place. It's irritating because it isn't as if I couldn't drive if I wanted to; I bike because not only does it save money for me, it's better for environment and it decreases demand, making it so it's cheaper for HIM to drive. Not to mention, as mom brought up, I pay all the same taxes he does to build/maintain the road system here. I have just as much a right to it as he does. And by golly, if it takes a flogging to convince him of that, then a flogging it will be!

Megs said...

Stop making me laugh. I'm pregnant, so I pee a little every time.

Dani said...

Cassi, next time, take out your phone, take his picture, and a picture of his license plate, call 911 and report him for harrassment and reckless driving! What a freaking jerk.

Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work.