The Eye Twitch

This is a post about The Eye Twitch. I'm capitalizing it because I've now had it for so long that it's coalesced from a minute annoyance on the fringes of consciousness into its own entity, a living blight that threatens to drive me to insanity. The Eye Twitch took its fledgling breaths early in December, appearing as a brief series of muscle spasms in my left eyelid. Since that time, it's slowly been gathering strength, repeatedly occurring at the most inconvenient times. Indeed, I can only conclude that the people at my workplace consider me to be some sort of pirate, what with my twitchy eye and the fact that often the only thing that makes it bearable is to scrunch it up in an "Arr, matey!" sort of look. That, or perhaps they think I have Tourette's. If so, I may take advantage by yelling profanities and inappropriate comments whenever I feel like it.

Regardless, I don't believe I actually have Tourette's, nor am I a pirate (although that would be some swashbuckling fun). I was driven in desperation a few days ago to search for eye twitching on the internet, and found several sites that blame the cause on anxiety, fatigue, and stress. Also, genetics may play a role. And I did find out that my mom has had previous eye twitching episodes, as well. So I could blame her for it. But, I've actually come up with my own theory for the cause behind The Eye Twitch. Here it is: my eyelid is so sick of being attached to my body that it's gradually building up its strength to make its big escape, possibly while I'm asleep to prevent me from forcing it to stay. And to be completely honest, I don't blame it, and I've long suspected some of my limbs of plotting escape. So it comes as no surprise. Unfortunately, I can't just let it go, you know? I mean, where would my eye be if I had no eyelid? All dried up and frankly, kind of freaky looking. Plus, then my eye would probably rebel and make it's own escape, and I'm sure that would just start a chain reaction. First the eyelid, then the eye, then what? Anyway, the point is, I'm actually on the verge of ripping off my eyelid and gouging out my eye.